Sunday, 20 July 2014

Big news on the next step in my life...

You may remember a little while back my cryptic post about the next step I felt I needed to take with my life... I gave very little indication as to what that was all about but I received a lot of support and encouragement from many of you at the time (thank you!).

Well, I can now officially state that the next crazy step in my life has been taken, and so all is now in motion! Ok, it isn't quite the idea I referred to in my previous post. Ok it is not at all linked. But it is massive all the same.

You have to love every decision you make in life. Even the small ones. One day you will wake up and look back on your life. I don't want to look back and say, what if, had I, if I only, I regret.... I want to be able and say I did everything I wanted, and got the life I strived for. I will be able to say I have no regrets. That's a damn good feeling.

For the last few months, I was unhappy. Admittedly, some of this was simply caused by sleep deprivation from having a new baby. But really, it was more than that. It has been a long year. An amazing year, concluded with Hugo turning one recently. But also a long traumatic one. It is coming up to a year since my godmother passed away. She truly was like a second mother to me, and I still think and dream of her on a regular basis, especially when i need advice on a specific topic. However her words of wisdom remain deeply rooted in me, including "It is important that we focus on our blessings in life of which there are many x"".

Her death clearly has affected my family deeply, as you would imagine. I have also come to realise that ever since, there has been something bugging me at the back of my mind. I just keep feeling this urge to do something, to be true to myself, and to stop being scared of "doing the wrong thing", and instead have more faith in myself and take a leap.

The main issue I had, is that I had no clear idea on where to leap to.

I always use to joke that my career in law was my plan B, and I was still trying to figure out my plan A, what I was truly meant to do with my life. It just so happens that I have truly really enjoyed my day job. I have made some life-long friends along the way, and gained many skills over the years. Last but not least, I finally became a qualified lawyer last month, gratifying years (years!!) of hard work and studying, which felt amazing. But then it happened. I knew it would. And it did. I couldn't stop but think: "Done that. What next?" I knew it would, and true to form, the minute I qualified, I felt justified in considering what I really wanted to do even if it meant a complete change in career.

I just needed to find out what that specific change would be. All I know, is that I have always fancied myself as a creative person...


Well I haven't found what that change is as of yet. However I know from experience that, when given a chance to take a step back, or at least have some space to stop and think things through, I usually find exactly what I have been looking for. As such, I have taken action. After much thought and consideration, I have decided to take a career break. Hence, notice has been given to work a little while back, and as of 22nd August 2014 I will become voluntarily unemployed. Although I much prefer to call this a career break. It has a much better ring to it.

Barry has been extremely supportive of my decision, for which I am really grateful. He has put up with me stressed about work, stressed at home, and just generally blooming miserable. But still, he helped me consider all the options and really decide what it was that I wanted, over what I felt I should do. And that is no small achievement! I hope that as a result of my decision, it will make me a better person and we can enjoy date nights again, focussing on ourselves as a couple as well as parents and individuals. It always makes more sense financially as we are better off for me not working and therefore not paying childcare (this still drives me insane, how can that be right?!).

As always, I was worried of what other people might think. Especially considering my former confessions as seen here  and here. I do worry that Hugo will miss out on all the amazing developmental skills Siena benefited from by attending the nursery. But I am also looking forward to doing more things with him, which I wasn't able to do with Siena as I worked full-time then, such as swimming. Siena will be fine as she can attend the local nursery, which we can see from our front door (!) and therefore meet lots of local new friends. Overall, I am looking forward to being a stay-at-home-mum now that the kids are both a little older and interactive.

I also worry of voluntarily placing myself out of the job market, when times are hard in the legal sector. However, I decided that rather than stay in a job I am not currently happy in, better to take a step back and truly consider all my options, and whether there might be a path worth taking I haven't considered yet. 

paperfelt: What If I Fall Download

I also fully intend on putting good use to the additional free time (or is this a myth?) I will gain from not going to work. I have already been offered a very exciting opportunity, which I really hope works out. A friend and I have also discussed plans of going into business in the long run, post career break. I also have an idea which I keep thinking about even though I do not know much in that industry, but keep thinking I can simply take it upon myself to learn about it all! Since I have been on enforced leave while Siena recovers, the ideas keep pouring in, which I wasn't expecting to happen so quickly, and I am therefore thrilled and convinced that my decision was the right one for me to take.

25 Quotes That Will Inspire You To Be A Fearless Writer

All in all, I am massively excited and so far have absolutely no regrets! 

Best feeling ever! You will know you made the right decision; you feel the stress leaving your body, your mind, your life. #life #quotes #inspiration

Watch this space, who knows what my next career step will be! But for now, I am looking forward to focusing on the smaller things, and making sure I look after myself, and my beautiful family, as we truly do have many blessing in life, in the words of a wise, wise woman.
Trying To
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