Wednesday, 23 October 2013

What if my child is gay?

Since becoming a mum, I am very conscious of the little beings who are becoming their own little persons with my help. I remember when Barry and I went to register Siena's full name at the Registry Office, it felt very important: we had carefully chosen the name she would be known as and would carry through with her her whole life. But this was just the first step of many. Every day I see Siena developing into a beautiful but very strong minded little girl! And Hugo is already showing signs of his personality even though he is only three months old.
A song that gets me emotional every time I hear it, is "Same Love" from Macklemore.  Not only do I love the video, but also the lyrics. If you have not heard this song, or seen the video, it is about homosexuality and society.

As with a lot of people, I'm guilty of using expressions in the past which I am not necessarily proud of. I put it down as part of growing up and not necessarily realising the impact it could have had on certain people. That doesn't fully excuse my behaviours, but we all make mistakes and as long as we learn from them, I hope that it can be forgiven.

I know that as Siena and Hugo grow up, I will recognise parts of Barry and I in their personalities and person. However, I also know that they may grow to have completely different taste in music or fashion. They may have a completely different approach to life than I have. We are going to disagree on a large number of life issues. We will fight. Hopefully not too much. And not too seriously. But we will. However much I hope I can be the bigger person and reason every argument or accept my children's views and arguments, I know fights will happen. I think they are part of life and growing up.

The thing I want most in life is for my children to know they are loved and supported, and for them to have a good life. I know this is one of the hardships of a parent, especially if I do not fully understand what they are experiencing. Using the above song as a reference, if Siena or Hugo were to tell me they are gay for example. I have not had to deal with this personally growing up, so may not always get it right when trying to be there for them. I may not say the right thing, or act in the right manner. In fact I am very good at saying the wrong thing at the wrong time, so tend to remain quiet in some scenarios. Hopefully I can get better at this. But I truly hope that despite my possible failings, they will know that they can still come to me. And this is not limited to their sexuality, but pretty much every aspect of their life, as they get to find out who they are when growing up. Just as importantly, I want them to grow up respecting other people, no matter what their background, sexuality, race etc might be.

I know I will not always approve of their friends, their boyfriends, their girlfriends. I know at times I will struggle to understand their decisions, their choices. I also know that they will go through stages in their lives where they feel lost, alone. More than anything, I hope that I can always be there for them, and let them know that whoever they become, whatever their fears and their hopes, whatever difficult decision they need to make in life, they always feel that they can come to me for comfort and reassurance that the world is full of love and brightness. And that I will always love them.
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*All images unless otherwise noted are my own, so please do not use them without my permission.*
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